Description
Foreword, Christopher Germer Introduction I. Start Where You Are: Understanding How Things Go Wrong in Relationships and How Things Get Better 1. We All Need to Be Loved 2. "Why Can't You Be Here for Me?": Understanding What Gets in the Way 3. "I Wish I Could Fix It!": Resisting Pain with Problem Solving 4. "Do You Care?": Finding Safe Connection 5. "Who Will Love Me?": Ensuring That Compassion Is Always Available to You II. Building a Foundation for Compassion in Your Relationship: Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Kindness 6. Being Present: Mindfulness Skills to See Clearly and Quiet Reactivity 7. Cultivating Connection: Strength in Common Humanity 8. Getting What We Need: Kindness in Three Directions III. Putting It into Practice: Tailoring Compassion Skills to Your Relationship 9. "What Really Matters to Us?": Rooting Your Relationship in Your Values 10. "How Can We Really Get Each Other?": Using Compassionate Communication Skills 11. "Can We Heal Our Wounds?": Cultivating the Conditions for Forgiveness 12. "How Do We Keep Our Love Alive?": Celebrating Positive Experiences Together Resources Notes List of Audio Tracks Index Audio Downloads: 1. Finding Strength and Softness (5:25) 2. Uncovering Your Survival Strategies and How They Impact Your Partner (5:52) 3. Discovering Our Tendencies to Fix and Finding Vulnerability Underneath (4:57) 4. Discovering What's Underneath Your Need to Control, What Your Partner Feels, and How to Speak from Vulnerability (3:29) 5. Finding the Strong Back of Compassion (3:57) 6. Finding the Soft Front of Compassion (4:31) 7. Discovering How We Treat Ourselves and Others (5:35) 8. Putting Self-Compassion into Practice with Mindfulness, Common Humanity, and Kindness (8:54) 9. Supportive Touch (4:31) 10. Soles of the Feet (4:10) 11. Awareness of Breath (7:41) 12. Awareness of Sound (5:38) 13. STOP (5:35) 14. Touching Hands (5:06) 15. Discovering Common Humanity (5:57) 16. Belonging (6:48) 17. Loving-Kindness for Couples (9:13) 18. Motivating Yourself with Compassion (12:22) 19. Soften, Soothe, and Allow (8:42) 20. Meeting Our Own Needs (4:47) 21. Discovering Your Core Values (5:16) 22. STOP and LOVE (13:43) 23. Forgiving Others (7:48) 24. Forgiving Yourself (7:22) 25. Gratitude for Your Partner (3:51)
Michelle Becker, MA, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist in private practice in San Diego, is dedicated to helping people thrive in healthy, well-connected relationships. She is the developer of the Compassion for Couples program and cofounder of Wise Compassion (www.wisecompassion.com). She is also a cofounder of the teacher training program at the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion and a senior teacher of Compassion Cultivation Training. Through workshops, online education, and a podcast, she shares the knowledge and tools required for people to relate to each other better.