I have been a midwife for many years, having first trained to be a nurse. Midwifery was where I belonged and where I was happiest throughout my career. More than this, I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a sister. Perhaps my greatest achievement is to have written, spoken and presented about my experiences of child sexual abuse. This painful secret was deeply buried in me for many years, behind a wall of silence. I imagined that I would take it to my grave. However, midwifery was a catalyst to speaking out, particularly following my own childbearing experiences, which left me in a deep chasm of emotional pain. I saw other childbearing women struggling, and I knew I could be quiet no longer.
Surviving sexual abuse is not easy, either physically or psychologically: the harm runs deep. But there are ways to support women survivors in our roles as midwives or obstetricians. I appreciate that speaking out is not everyone’s way of dealing with trauma, and I have attracted criticism for this. I hope that in my work as a midwife, writer and presenter I have been able to honour those who choose to stay silent and educate others about the crisis that childbirth presents for survivors. I have been awarded two honorary doctorates, and I was elected President of the Royal College of Midwives, because of my promise to myself that I would speak out. Integrity and truth are so important to me, and I hope that readers will find these in my book. In memory of my daughter, my younger sister and my mother, I give you all that I have been told by women survivors and learned from my own journey so far.